5/5/16

Thursday

I feel a lot happier today.

It's the second day of Protestant denomination presentations in World Religions. It's really boring. It's really boring. For an hour, we sit through PowerPoint presentations. I'm glad my classmates are up there presenting the information. How else would I be able to know what that big wall of text reads unless you read it line for line for us. And thanks for introducing a new term in your presentation without explaining it at all. Unfortunately, I'm sure you have no idea what it means either because you haven't bothered to search it up yourself when you copy pasted it off Wikipedia.

I like to take advantage of my professor's office hours. If your professor was pursuing a PhD in the subject matter, I'm sure you would too. Office hours are right after class, but I always wait before I go in. I stand outside the building formulating my question. I also take the time to question myself. In 2016, I've spent more time talking to my professor than I have with any of my friends, family, church leaders, or mentors.

I realize that in my season of confusion, what I really wanted and what I needed was intimate relationship. I did have genuine questions about the different religions we've studied (the consistency of Hinduism's view of the self, the idolatrous nature of deities versus the three-natured Trinity, the radicalism of Theravada Buddhism versus the progression of Mahayana Buddhism, the contradiction of pluralism and Jesus' exclusive claim to The Way, Truth, and Life). But where I wasn't sharing my space at church, I was trying to fill that void with surface level ontological riffraff. I definitely think there is value in the conversations I had with my professor, but it wasn't the best thing for me.

Or sometimes like today, I'm just nervous whenever I have to talk with someone. Like ordering in Korean, or calling a store, or walking into a new place.

But today I went in curious to know why she chose to live religious studies.

She grew up a very devout Presbyterian, involved in youth group and leadership. During college, she took a world religions course. This woke her up to her own lack of knowledge of the way people think, let alone her own beliefs. She realized there's so much more history and breadth to religion, so much she didn't understand.

This led to a questioning; "Why aren't we taught anything about the history of the church in church? Everything is so simplified." Martin Luther is sort of seen as a hero in Protestantism, having restored Christianity. But she never knew that he had so many demons, that he was so tormented in his thoughts, that he was so much more than just a hero. Whether this questioning was cynical in nature, I forgot to ask.

But this led her down a path of wanting to help people understand their own and others. So many bad things happen and people destroy each other in the name of misinformed religion (e.g. militant Islam)

She moved to D.C. to work as a congressional intern with a focus on religion and politics. The content was really exciting, but the job was so boring: Sitting at a computer eight hours a day typing up reports. She had two jobs: Doing her hateful job, and hating her job.

So she left that and spent time teaching English in South Korea. She cultivated a love for teaching there. Interacting with people and helping them grow in understanding. Unlike her previous jobs, it was something she wanted to get better at every time she did it.

She skipped how she transitioned into teaching religious studies.

She encouraged me that if there's anything I want to do... to just do it! And to not do something I'll hate 8 hours a day 5 days a week. TRY A LOT OF DIFFERENT THINGS! You'll find out what you definitely don't want to do.

She shared how many of her friends settled. They're doing things that just aren't them. "I used to run all the time / I used to cook all the time, but I don't have the time anymore." "I used to write a lot of music, but I'm too busy programming now." Oh God.

KNOW YOUR NEEDS. Know what makes you you. E.g. my professor loves travelling. She needs to work out or stay active. She loves reading. So she travels during summer vacation. She rides her bike for short trips. Her job requires reading. On the contrary, a lot of her friends have abandoned parts of themselves out of a lack of self-respect or in exchange for a little security.

KNOW WHAT SUCCESS LOOKS LIKE TO YOU. Maybe it's not necessarily doing what you love for money. Maybe success means sacrificing your personal endeavor in order to support your family and spend time with them.

It's funny, P.Billy gave me very similar advice a week ago. And Pastor John Piper likes to talk about this too. I don't mean to fulfill selfish desires, because that ultimately doesn't fulfill. Fulfill your needs. You do you. Christian (true, lasting) Hedonism. Joy in Christ.

But one thing Ms. Burke, P.Billy, and I have both agreed on is that sometimes you gotta stop talking, and just do it. This has gotten quite long.

Bye Bye.